A Little Colour in Service of an Anxiety Garden

After two weeks of holding out, on Thursday evening, I decided it was time to mix another batch of colour chemistry. As brown and sticks season approaches, I usually put colour film aside in favour of black and white. At least until the early signs of spring arrive, usually in mid-to-late April.

There is a particular pernicious personal anxiety I carry, however. I’ve always had it in some way, but now that I develop my own film, I get very nervous that if I stop for a while, all of that knowledge, that experience, and even that muscle memory I’ve acquired over 131 rolls will simply disappear and I’ll have to start from the beginning. Since I’m quite new to colour, it is all the more acute!

No matter how many times I remind myself (and am reminded) that it’s silly or like riding a bicycle, the anxiety creeps in, dissipating through a process I’m now familiar with, only to have the switch turn off entirely when I pull the film from the tank and know that it’s pictures. Pictures that were developed somewhat properly.

So with a sunny Friday, I loaded another roll of ColorPlus and headed out for a longer lil’ local loop. The weather was glorious! The temperature mild! (Save for a breeze to remind us that this is false spring and that there will be more snow and cold to come.) The neighbourhood …not entirely inspiring. It was nevertheless just what I needed!

As for the development?

Well, I was certainly a bit more white-knuckled while doing it, but in the end it turned out okay.

I’m not yet experienced enough to pull colour negative from the tank and see right away that it’s what it ought to be, but these are the sort of results I expect from Kodak’s consumer colour negative films in the brown-and-sticks season.

It’s a small victory.

At least for now.